Giving over to newness

A sunshine beautiful day. The dandelions make a debut, shuffling the lingering daffodils into a quieter residency - no longer the singular golden wonder, now they seem a bit shy. Fruits trees are displaying ever so modestly, one iota of movement toward flowering. To give, now here is the question that has occupied me alternatively with feelings of emptiness. The feeling that I have something to give, yet not knowing where to put it to good use. It can explode sometimes, or seep out against my better judgement, just hoping to be received. Finally it became prayer the other night, and I saw an image of myself holding a shining, deep blue stone in my out-stretched palms, and I beseeched my Creator for someway to share the gift.

Changes overtake the now empty property, and I feel the tingling materialization of a common childhood dream - the being let loose after hours in a well-ordered place, no one watching, and being completely without malice or ill-intent. Some great force of energy was released today, and I enjoyed myself, both in my activities and in my every-moment being. I felt free from my self-constructed stereotype, more just plainly a unique human spirit - sensitive, delighted, perceptive, intelligent, and resilient. Like Spring taking shape, and becoming real; like the spongy grass over-taking its phase of novel growth, and hurtling headlong into mowable mess. I am a part of this world, and I'm learning to like it.