Decide, and begin anew

Part of me assumes that one day, I’ll walk into the woods and lay my body, exhausted finally from the hurt and struggle, down into the leaves, and release myself from mortality. In ending, singing at last the song I’ve murmured through my life, releasing with life the best of myself. Able to escape at last, able to express itself in a final gasp, a secret melody liberated. And I, free from the need to work it out with my own two hands, free from the pressure of something burning inside. Something whose intricacy my fingers flail against and in myriad media, scratch out echos of what it could be, what it longs to be. Tired of all these, she lays her head upon the fallen leaves, each a whisper, each a piece of what could have been. Then she begins to dream. Wandering away from the noises of the past, and she finds the dying day beautiful beyond imagination, filling her eyes still she closes them, and a great Love travels straight to her heart. A few more paintings to go, a better dance step, an artful pile of unwashed dishes: life beckons once more with the softest of touches, lingering in the sensitive hollows of my body, holding me here, for as long as here lasts, like the fading sundown. Each cloud calling out in harmony to the beauty of living; a chorus of birthing yells, a giving of every effort in order to realize something new, something inexpressibly beautiful. Tired of all these, she sent her body to the forest to die, and instead, sent her heart back to the Creator, and chose to walk a while, while the light lasts, while the Sun lingers, while beauty and Grace still far outnumber her troubles.

Digital art "Surrender" by myself